Well, this is not about food today. It's about my freakish ability to linger in indecision. Those of you who know me, nod your heads - and then shake them in disdain and "over-it-ness". I am so over myself right now. I am quite possibly the most indecisive insect (how I'm categorizing myself at the moment) on the planet. Do you know how annoying that is for me? Not to mention others forced to deal with me? Others: my deepest sympathies. Self: you need to hire a professional bitch-slapper, like yesterday. Not only that, but when I finally DO make a decision - I agonize over its correctness for days and weeks on end.
So, do you know who my indecision is the perfect match for? Well, that'd be a certain service where you can buy and print your stamps online. I decided, after paying about $20 a month for 3 months of service and using $0 per month in stamps, that it really didn't serve a purpose in the household. Make sense? Yes, perfect. So, I call them up and try to quit them. Well, dang if I'm not treated to every pleasantry known to woman - and before I know it, I've been credited all service fees, given 3 months of free service and $20 worth of free postage credited to my account - SURE I'll stay.
Couple days later, I'm all - what was I thinking? So, I print my free postage, get all puffed up, decide to call them up, and state again that I truly just don't need the service. Once again, I'm given 3 more months of free service, they knock me down to the "less expensive" monthly plan, send me some complimentary net-stamps, and credit my account with $20 more of free postage....."just call us back by July 30th to cancel - just give us a try until then". And I, completely entranced or perhaps drugged by that point, replied breathlessly "oooookkkaaayyyy, Kimberlyyyyyy". And hung up. And now I'm wondering if there is a subliminal message playing over the phone line, forcing me to stay - because I am never this obtuse. I can't quit them.
Remember the episode of Friends when Ross can't quit his gym membership? So then he asks Chandler, I think? And Chandler can't do it either? So, then - what happens - do they ask Monica - is that it, and she finally takes care of it?
WELL, MY GOD I NEED A MONICA, PEOPLE.