Saturday, May 24, 2008

Five Reasons To Not Be Me, Plus Pie

Around the blogosphere, I run across all these "tags" and whatnots - similar to the chain emails where you have to fill out things such as "your 4 favorite movies" or "4 places you'd rather be right now" and then you pass the email on - you get the's the same with blog tags. Now, all of these are quite good natured as far as I can tell - and I just feel that natural pull to mix it up a little bit, naturally. Because sometimes when I read those "getting to know me" tags/emails, I find myself pondering oh their life sounds so perfect, I think I want their perfect life, when in all reality - it's all a bunch of imperfect perfectness. So, I thought I'd just go ahead and embrace it all in a gloriously-imperfect-sort-of-way and do a straight-shooting list called....

Reasons You Wouldn't Want To Be Me

1) I abhor the phone. I mean, it's like picking up a spider and putting it to my ear. Now, it's not that I don't want to talk to people (non-sales people, specifically) - it's just that, I can't tell people that I have to go now. Even worse, if I do work up to telling them I have to go, and then they sort of ignore it - and keep on talking - there will be absolutely NO way on the planet that I will be able to say it again. No. I may as well filet them open, remove their organs and sell them on the black market right then and there - that's how subversive it would feel in comparison to trying to get off the phone again. I'm that sensitive to thinking that it might hurt them to say I have to go yet again. So email? Blessing and a curse.

2) I adore the word hubris. J'adore it. I love that word, and have for years, but rarely have a chance to use it properly. Plus, when I do use it - people usually just look at me blankly or with a bit of shock and go - did you just say PUBIS?

3) I eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch every single day. The only variation is, at times, on the weekends when we go out to eat. Weird, I know. But mostly, it's just laziness. I don't want to think about breakfast - I just want to make it and cover all the nutritional bases, get out the door; and, I actually *love* my breakfast - it's like dessert to me. And lunch? I make it, bring it with, it's simple and nutritious - but it's got to be one of the goofiest lunches ever. It's a dumb lunch. I want to eat it in a dark closet, it's so dumb.

4) I don't like making plans, like ever. I like total flexibility at all times. I like all plans to be soft. How annoying is that? I mean, if friends ask in the beginning of the week to go to dinner on the weekend - instead of just being all, SURE, my mind may go into a tailspin thinking howIamsupposedtoknowifI'llfeellikegoingtodinnerthisweekendwhenit'sonlyMondaynow!
And a dentist or doctor appointment? I'll cancel about 4-6 times before I'll actually GO to the appointment, because it just all feels too inflexible to me. Why can't I just show up when it works for ME? Sometimes, I want to cup my hand around the phone when I'm calling to reschedule the appointment, just to disguise my voice and pretend I'm calling FOR ANN. How many readers did I just lose?

5) I'm an over-confirmer. For example, I can ask Tony if he likes, say, a piece of wood. And, here is how the conversation would go:

Ann: "Do you like that piece of wood?"
Tony: "I do like it"
Ann: "But do you really like it?"
Tony: "Yeah, I really do like it."
Ann: "Are you sure you like it, I mean really?"
Tony: "I really do."
Ann: "You're not just saying it because, say, I like it."
Tony: "No, I noticed it right away and liked it."
Ann: "So, you truly, actually, and genuinely like it?"
Tony: "I REALLY DO like it."
8 HOURS LATER...Ann: "So, you really
did like the piece of wood from today, are you sure?"

It's a miracle I'm married. And for those of you wondering - YES, I'm emailing this list to my shrink as soon as I'm finished with it, not that she is in need of any new material, obviously.

Now, there is one reason I can think of that you might want to be me for an hour - perhaps so that you could make and then eat this chocolate pie.....

(And, if you want to play along - feel free to leave a comment with A Reason I Wouldn't Want To Be You, the self effacement is actually quite refreshing!)

Chocolate Pie

I don't know why, but I was really hesitant in making a chocolate pie. For some reason, I just didn't think it could possibly taste good enough or chocolate-y enough - or anything-enough, frankly. But, Tony kept requesting it - so I caved. I figured if Nicole at Baking Bites recommended this silky little pie, who am I to argue? So, with Nicole as my sensei - I made my first chocolate pie - and, needless to say, it won't be the last. The texture is smooth, soft, creamy - and the taste is rich, deep, and definitely more chocolate-y than I was expecting. We loved it, it really was divine!

1 1/4 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tbs. sugar
6 tbs. cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
1/4 c. cold vegetable shortening, cubed
1/8 c. cold vodka
1/8 c. cold water

In a food processor (or using pastry cutter), combine 2/3 c. flour, salt, and sugar. Add butter and shortening and combine until dough clumps into size of small peas. Add remaining flour and combine until dough has broken up; transfer dough to medium bowl. Sprinkle vodka and water over mixture. Using rubber spatula, fold the mixture and press down on dough until it is tacky and sticks together. Form into a ball, flatten into a 4-inch disk, wrap in plastic and refrigerate at least 45 minutes or up to 2 days.

Next, par-bake the crust. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Roll out the dough on a flour-dusted surface, about 1.5 inches wider than the width of your pie pan. Transfer dough to your pie pan, gently laying it into the pan, without stretching the dough; prick bottom of dough with fork in a few spots. Trim excess dough off top of pie pan, and crimp edges with fingers. Line the dough with aluminum foil and fill with pie weights or with dried beans. Bake 10-12 minutes or until beginning to set. Remove foil with weights and bake 15-18 minutes or until golden. If shell puffs during baking, press down with back of spoon. Cool on wire rack.

Sinful Chocolate Filling
1/2 c. butter, room temperature
3/4 c. sugar
1 oz. semi-sweet chocolate, melted and cooled
1 oz. unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled
1 tsp. vanilla
2 large eggs, room temperature

In large mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in chocolate and vanilla until combined. Add 1 egg and beat for 5 minutes (yes, FIVE minutes!). Add second egg, and beat for 5 minutes. Scrape down sides of bowl as needed. Filling should be smooth and creamy. Taste to confirm - and just to revel in the gloriousness of it all. Pour mixture into pie shell and smooth with spatula. Refrigerate for at least two hours, or until firm. Serve with whipped cream, dark chocolate curls or shavings. Enjoy! Adapted from Nicole at Baking Bites and Cooks Illustrated.


Anonymous said...

That pie looks incredibly wonderful. I might slap a little meringue on it, but then again shaved chocolate makes everything a little bit better. Shaved chocolate on top of meringue, I think I'll do that tonight.

Why you wouldn't want to be me: Reason #7,648,382 -- I can get mad at the sun if I try just a little bit. It's hard being me sometimes. :)

Anonymous said...

You don't want to be me bc I can't cook a damn thing, yet this is one of my favorite blogs, which probably makes me a pubis without hubris.

Lisa said...

lol! yes, I don't want to be me either, some days at least. Probably because I would make this chocolate pie and then eat it for breakfast every single freakin day until it was gone. All the while looking at the nutritious stuff like fruit and thinking "yeah, later . . . " And then I wonder why I have an ongoing battle with the last 5 pounds! Love your posts and recipes and OCD - have a great weekend!

Ann said...

Luscious - Mad at the sun, I love it! Actually, since I live here in the desert, I can pretty much relate...

Cam - aw, thanks! And, love that you used both pubis and hubris in the same sentence, brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Omg, can I just say it's a pleasure to "meet" someone who might hate the phone as much as I do?

Anonymous said...

First, I'm totally with you on the phone. It's a tool I use only when absolutely necessary, and while I'll be chipper and delighted to talk to my loved ones, I'm actually pretty pissed off everytime it rings. Just because *they* want to talk to me *right now* doesn't mean I felt the same and they've just intruded on whatever very important thing I was doing. Like uploading my tuna salad sandwich onto Flickr so strangers can see what I ate for lunch.

Which leads me to ...

What exactly do you eat for breakfast and lunch each day? You can't leave us hanging like that!

You don't want to be me, because a) I am very strapped for time most of my day and I create a lot of burden on my schedule due to my own disorganization b) I live in a rather trendy and nice loft apartment in the city, but, it doesn't have laundry facilities and I have cart my laundry off site and I'm really lazy about doing it and c) because of subparagraph a, above, and my time disorganization, I've often found it far easier to just stop at the store and buy new underwear, instead of going out to the laundermat to wash those I have already have in a pile on my bathroom floor.


Ann said...

Lisa - Me ocd? NAH!!! And, I'm the exact same way - if there is a dessert in the house, it's all I think about, until it's gone. :)

Missy - bless you. :)

Kate - OMG, are we related? And also - if you're uploading tuna sandwiches to Flickr, I clearly need access to this account for viewing said sandwich. Okay and PLUS, I used to sometimes buy new dishes instead of washing them when I was in my 20s - we may seriously be related....

Anonymous said...

You wouldn't want to be me because I can know I need sleep so very very badly, and yet go 'I'm sure there's something fascinating I simply must read somewhere on the Internet...'

My Sweet & Saucy said...

Looks deliciously divine to me...

NV said...

Lots and lots of self-effacement here, Ann. But I'm with you on the phone one. At least most of the time. One of my nearest and dearest called me today instead of sending an email and it was a delight.
Right now, you wouldn't want to be me because my midigit still hurts like an SOB!!! There are a million other reasons you wouldn't want to be me. I'm too structured. I've actually gotten more flexible with age rather than less. But I have to PLAN everything. :-)

Anonymous said...

that looks so good! chocolate shavings rule :)

p/s i've been wanting to make clafoutis for sometime now but will have to wait till summer when i'm home and have some ramekins around :)


Ann said...

Anon - lol, I'm probably keeping you UP then! :)

Sweet and Saucy - Just read in your profile that you're a pastry chef...come on over, girl!

NV - at least you're a planner with flexibility. :)

Diva - yes, glad you did hear about that clafoutis - I thought you might have ;).

Anonymous said...

Oh this pie looks really delicious and really pretty easy. Many chocolate pies ask for 4 eggs, with beating after each and all I have is a handmixer; 2 eggs is much better, so this is great. You do NOT want to be me because I'm an over-planner and that is just incredibly annoying, even to me.

Jennifer S said...

Oh, yum. That looks seriously delicious. Your site is beautiful!

The phone drives me nuts, too. I hate the awkwardness of it. You should try this trick...hang up while YOU'RE talking. Then the other person thinks you lost the connection. Of course, if they call back, you're on you're own there, but it's worth a shot. (Not that I would ever try this...)

I'm curious about breakfast/lunch, too. Tell, please.

The biggest reason (there are many) that you wouldn't want to be me is that my house is half-packed and littered with boxes since we're moving this summer (to Indiana, we think).

Thank you for stopping by my place--I'm glad to find your place, too, and am adding you to my reader.

Anonymous said...

I linked to you from my blog, you goose, and you didn't even know it.

I fret. I worry. I ache over why you didn't see and then I find that you have been knee deep in chocolate pie.

The perfect excuse.

Me too, Ann. Me too.

I forget everything when I am faced with such a pie.


Ann said...

Rebecca - couldn't agree more - which is why I specifically looked for one that had 2 eggs, bc there was no stinkin' way I was going to beat for 5 minutes after each egg with 4 eggs!

Jennifer - I really like your brain, really. And now that I just discovered your blog, so sad to hear you're leaving AZ to move to Indiana. Why, WHY I ask you?

Lacy - GASP! Coming over to your blog PRONTO!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This pie looks luscious, it's going on the list-to-make. There's a reason to not be me: I'm addicted to making lists.

Anonymous said...

You definitely don't want to be me because you don't sleep, and I have this horrible leg-twitchy thing that makes me have to shake my legs every five minutes if I stay up past eleven. SO annoying!

The pie looks heavenly, and though this is the wrong post, I agree with firefly. I like this header for the summer. Maybe dark again in the fall? You have me rethinking my header now too... :)

creampuff said...

That is one gorgeous pie!

Ann said...

Kspin - oh no - restless leg syndrome - I get that too sometimes, it's terrible! Ugh.

Creampuff - thank ya! :)

Anonymous said...

Oooooohhhhh. Pie. I'll be back. Thanks for the comment on my blog. BTW, best way to end a call if you don't want to is to start talking and hang up on yourself. Then, keep the phone off the hook. No one could possibly believe that you hung up on them when you're talking, and if your line is busy ... you can claim, Telephone Trouble. I'm so bad....

Suburban Correspondent said...

I'm with you on the breakfast and lunch thing - I mean, c'mon, how many different decisions can a person make each and every day? It's too exhausting.

Ann said...

Standingstill - this is the 2nd time I've heard this tip and I MUST remember it, brilliant! :)

Suburb. - Thank you, EXACTLY!!

Anonymous said...

So, what do you eat for breakfast and lunch every day? Because if you can stand it 5 out of every 7 days, it must be awesome.

Anonymous said...

Reasons Not to Want to be Me:
I sat in amazement as I read your reasons because each one of them sounds exactly like me. You are not alone!

Pie looks absolutely phenomenal - definitely going to try this one out!

AJM said...

So, you don't bake the filling at all? You leave it as is with the raw egg? I want to try it, but that kind of grosses me out. :)

Reason not to be me: I get anxiety attacks when I eat at restaurants.

Anonymous said...

OMG that chocolate pie sounds phenomenal!!!!!!!! Some reasons you wouldnt want to be me...let's see: 1-I love talking on the phone:) 2- i love making definite plans a ridiculously long time in advance 3-I am so very type A it is exhausting 4-I can not even function on less than 6 hours of sleep 5- if you were me, I am not sure you'd get along with yourself! haha I feel like we are almost total opposites which is a nice feeling for me because I am a twin:)

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