Monday, October 6, 2008

We Know We're Nuts, What's New

Since moving to Phoenix three years ago, I've been working for my husband's firm - and my husband is my boss. Here is a pause ______ for you to swallow that holy-shit in your throat. See, when we decided to move here, I had to leave my Fortune-500 career-type-job because it wouldn't transfer down here; his firm threw me a bone and I've been torturing my hubs from 8-5 ever since.

At this point, almost everyone who hears this says "are you NUTS?" - because people just cannot fathom working with the person they married. On one hand, I understand their contention. On the other, I don't get it - I mean, if you can't work-it-out with the person you married, of all people, then how the heck do you manage to work out a marriage of all things, which is a tad more complicated than the workplace? Just curious. So, I'm always a bit struck by the fact that people are JUST DUMBFOUNDED by the fact that we can work together - and 90% of the time they say "I could NEVER, ever work with my spouse, NEVER!!" - am I the only one who finds that a strange oxymoron?

Now, this is not to say that the marriage sub-language does not make it into the office. Oh no, it is insidious - no matter how hard I attempt to snuff it out. And, I think my husband is a saint; I think the saints should come marching in at any point - on any given day, seriously. I fully admit to being a total pain in the ass on some days - there, it's in print - and he loves and adores me nonetheless. At the office, I think there are 3 major "looks" from the marriage sub-language that he has to deal with on a regular basis:

1) Look #1: "I'm on the internets, probably very busy researching who is on Perez Hilton - what could you POSSIBLY want that's more important, but OOPS I also shouldn't be doing this" - so, this look is a mixture of irritation, guilt, and "I love you, honey!".

2) Look #2: "I have PMS, so you may as well grab ALL of my nerve pathways in a bundle, pour kerosine on them, take a lighter, and torch them - because anything you ask me right now will feel 1 billion times worse than that" - this is when I hate working with any human being. But my husband? OH, he loves finding out the hard way just when THIS look is coming to the table, LOVES IT.

3) Look #3: "These are my teeth in a fake smile and yes I'll do that for you because we're at work right now, but if we were at home, you'd kinda be in trouble right now - but we'll have to talk about it later." This look can also be in combination, or following, Look #2. Poor fella.

Believe it or not though, we actually really do enjoy working together. Except for that PMS thing. Plus, he loves the fact that I bring baked goods in for the office almost weekly. Maybe that's why he wants me around. Maybe that's the only reason, actually, now that I think of it. He's actually rather obsessed with my baked goods. Now I feel used for my baked goods. He should double my salary, that ingrate. What am I, a caterer? Well, I'm getting off track here...

Anyway, so before I tell you about my recent sugar high, do you think you could work with your spouse, partner, love-dub, significant other? Or, are we indeed just nuts, per usual?

Soft Sugar Cookies

This is a recipe from my childhood. It's weird, because I thought these cookies were SO fantastic when I was a kid, almost heavenly; now, I would describe them as a good soft sugar cookie. I amped up the vanilla, of course. They're kind of a tangy, cakey, soft, singular-note, sugar cookie. They'd also be nice with a bit of glaze on top and would do well with the addition of almost any other flavoring that blows your hair back. So, if you're in need of a simple, sour cream based, soft sugar cookie - this is your baby, baby.

1/2 c. butter, room temperature
1 1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 c. sour cream
3 c. flour

Preheat oven to 375F and place baking rack to middle position. Place parchment or silicone baking pad on baking sheet, set aside.

In large bowl, using electric mixer - combine butter and sugar until light and fluffy; add eggs, thoroughly combine. Add salt, vanilla, baking powder, baking soda, and sour cream - mix until combined. Add flour and mix until just combined.

Drop by tablespoons onto baking sheet, about 1 1/2 inches apart; sprinkle generously with sugar. Bake 8-10 minutes, just until bottoms are light golden. Place on cooling rack. ENJOY!


Jennywenny said...

I think you're nuts! Although I did meet my husband at work, and we got moved apart because we were 'disrupting the office' by joking around too much! I think we could work together, but it would be really stressful!

Anonymous said...

Awesome that you are able to work with your husband...I agree, why wouldn't you if you could? And thanks for the great recipe, it seems like one I can actually do.

Though our blog is something quite different in spectrum, yours was refreshing to read. Don't read Perez us...we're better.

dharmamama said...

I actually laughed when I read that your husband is your boss - no swallowing of holy shit necessary. Because I think - I mean, I'm sure you're a good employee, and all - you just strike me as kind of bossless, if you know what I mean. Like - you are *choosing*, that moment, for him to be your boss, but at any moment, you could choose otherwise. It seems like more of a game.

I've never understood how people couldn't work with their spouse, either - but, of course, it still surprises me how so many parents don't want their kids around, too.

Lisa said...

Hey Ann - yes, you are nuts. NO FRIGGIN' WAY would I work in a professional environment with the spouse. (1) I like the idea of bringing new material home, and there's no new material if you had kinda the same day. (2) hate commuting together - need the time by myself in the car. (3)power struggle, power struggle, power struggle. like what dharmamama said.

That said, we work on projects together all the time - remodeling and such, and haven't killed each other yet . . . .

Cookies look divine!

Clumbsy Cookie said...

I once worked with a boyfriend. We didn't work well together, and that is why he is not my boyfriend anymore ;)!
He should totally give you a rise! Those cookies must be worth it! But again, nobody really deserves PMS looks, so maybe you should call it even!

Anonymous said...

Oh I would totally love to work with my husband *but* I would have to be the boss. Just like at home... :)

I think the ideal situation would be for him to be self-employed so that I could steal time away with him whenever I wanted. SO selfish, aren't I?

Stephanie said...

I completely agree with you... I think we might be the minority in this department though. I JUST had this conversation with my BF the other night.. if this is the person you are opting to spend the rest of your life with, you should be able to get along all the time, right??

Ps - I HAVE to make these cookies. The BF craves a soft chewy sugar cookie with a texture similar to those mass-made ones (subway, grocery store, etc)... this these ones are similar, or do you have another suggestion? NONE of my MANY attempts have been up to par.

MonkeyGirl said...

I met my ex at work and became his boss (sort of). Hmmm, I wonder if that is why he is my ex? I could work with Mr. Monkeygirl although the kissing every time we left the room would probably get annoying to our co-workers!

Anonymous said...

My husband and I actually have this conversation a lot. He says he would love it if we worked together because then he gets to spend more time with me (awwww...lets see if he feels that way in another 10 years). I tell him that it would be nice, but I have a feeling that if he were to tell me to do something, I'd glare at him and say, "Excuse me? Don't you dare tell me what to do. I cannot believe you would talk to me like that!" Haha.

Anonymous said...

Let's really be honest here, Look #2 is daily not monthly.

The fake smile look will almost certainly make me find something in the office that will require me to work late.

Look #1, well.. look number 1 is cute and frankly, it is a free pass to place any task in front of you. In fact, a weeks worth of tasks that could not be transferred during look #2 or 3 are now given a pass to land in your office. We love look #1 and your baking!

You are forgetting look #4 which is priceless: It is the look when a solicitor enters the office and thereby declares himself the lowest form of life on this planet by demonstrated they can't read the sign on the door that says "NO Soliciting...EVER".
I almost feel sorry for the fool that springs that trap.

In all seriousness, I can't work with my wife :) Let me repeat that!

Wife. (loved SNL this week)


Adam said...

Would I work with a girlfriend or wife? I don't think it'll be a problem, as long as we have breathing room. Much like hanging out with friends, sometimes "buffers" are needed, like human shields. They could protect against the 3 death stares you girls give, which strip the retinas from my eyes.

Just kidding, no but seriously :)

NV said...

My hat's off to you, dear one.

I worked with a long-time S/O but in a different location until AFTER a rather unpleasant break-up. Then we found ourselves working together in the same building. One of the best days of my life was him appearing in my door after I'd received a big promotion and posing this question: "Does this mean you're my boss now?"

"Why yes, it does."


I was professional about it and never abused that though. Well, maybe once ...

Brittany said...

Oh I could totally work with my husband. So long as I was his boss.
I think I would love that to pieces.

Anonymous said...

for a genius like you who cooks like a goddess, he should definitely double your pay :) awww. i think being able to work with the person you've married shows how strong tht marriage is. don't be fazed! x

grace said...

i hope your coworkers (and boss) are a lot more appreciative of your goodies than the folks at my workplace. :)
oh, an dkudos to you for not taking advantage of the fact that your husband's the boss and goof off every day. :)

Anonymous said...

Could I hypothetically work with my spouse? Of course, I'm calm, cool, and collected.

But could I work with my actual spouse? No. But not because of me, of course, but because she would stick to looks #2 & #3 almost the entire time.

Plus, I have a hard time working with someone who is illogical.

How many paragraphs can I put in this comment?

I'm happy that you are back to the blog. Over a week is much too long to have to wait for a new post.

I guess I'll let you go and shit.

YD, sometimes with ♥June and ♥Angel Samantha said...

Talk about sleeping with your boss!!! said...

I gotta tell you... sugar cookies are my favorite. I'm weak just looking at them.

Okay, so I don't see there being any trouble with you and The Man working together. You just seem like the perfect couple -- you're obviously deliriously happy and if the rest of the world can only stare slack-jawed at the thought of you two working in the same office -- well screw 'em.

You rock.

Like KISS.


Your devoted blogging fan.

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

*STILL swallowing that holy shit in my throat*

Have I ever told you how much I heartcha? I can't decide WHAT I like most. Your wit, your photos or your recipes. It's a total toss up.

Tis true.

Sugar Jones said...

You know, I would hate to work with my husband, but that's only because I know how he is at work. He's not good at playing nice with the other kids. He always takes the wrong side in any situation. And he has a really bad habit of talking shit to the wrong people. Had I known of this horrible side of him before I married him, I likely still would have married him. I was sick then. Now that I'm "better" I'm stuck.

I wish I had a husband that I would love to work with. I envy you. You and those soft Sugar Cookies.

Anonymous said...

If i had a husband, and if I loved him, which presumably I would or why else would I have married him, except for maybe the money because this economy is killing me, then yes. I would want to work for him, too.

Anonymous said...

If i had a husband, and if I loved him, which presumably I would or why else would I have married him, except for maybe the money because this economy is killing me, then yes. I would want to work for him, too.

Real Live Lesbian said...

You know what....I think I could work with her! But I work with my family already, so I'm already wacked out!

Mmmm...I still wanna eat your cookie!;)

Gigi said...

This is so freaking amazing! Ann quit reading my mind. I work with my "love dub" and I am his boss. Eeek. Well, no one even knew until Sunday when I had a complete melt down. Not couple related- work related and he hugged and kissed me. And every found out. Eeek. Thank god I was off Mon, Tues, and Wed. because I am kinda nervous about going back. We just talked about this tonight and he said no one asked or said anything. I'll let you if I enjoy working with him on Thursday.

hungryandfrozen said...

Ooh, sour cream in a cookie recipe? Interesting! Fab post as always. Sounds like you have a pretty good thing going at work...but the colleagues who get to eat your baking have it even better :)

Anonymous said...

I can just picture the two of you! You really "work" together so well on so many different levels--soul mates, I'd say.

Never could I work with my husband! I don't even think we could raise a kid together, so it's a good thing we had kids from previous marriages and that they were teenagers when we met. Given all that, we'd both say we have a wonderful marriage and are deeply in love. I can't explain it, I've just been living it for 14 years. I guess every relationship is unique.

As for the cookies, now those are cookies I know I could agree with every single day! Sugar and sour cream are a perfect storm. Why, oh why, did Tony have to leave the Minneapolis office just when he was going to marry you! Yeah, you should be getting paid at least double!

Nic said...

I bet he has the best packed lunches in Phoenix!
Great cookies - love the shape of them.

Anonymous said...

those sugar cookies are so plump! they almost look like they're pregnant haha You and your husband must be really close because I can't imagine being with my husband all day long! and I'm not married haha said...

I posted more of that there story start that remains untitled. I'm hooked on it. It's like crack -- only I don't feel like a genius or have super energy (I'm told that's what crack does to you... or is that coke?). Anyway, enough of my dorky drug references. I can't pull it off. I was on debate for God's sake.

Yeah, so I'd love your input you creative love, you.

John D. said...


I think I want to move to Phoenix. And have a company. And then I'd like to have a wife, and have HER work for my company. She would have 'looks' and bring yummy things into the office.

Yes, I like it! I like it a lot. : )


Ingrid_3Bs said...

First timer here! This is gonna be a tad long but....

First my parents owned a furniture store so they worked together until they sold the building and store. I remember one day Mom coming home early. When we asked why she was home already she said Dad had fired her.The next morning she refused to go to work, said she was going to be a stay at home mom. That lasted a day until Dad wised up and apologized. (She might have held out for a raise too)

I also worked with my Honey for years. It was tough though more so for him as I was around to witness guys being guys so he had to mind his P's & Q's. It didn't help that I was the exc assistant to his dept which meant he (& all the other guys) took orders from the director through me most times.

Okay, now on to the cookies. I'm not terribly fond of sugar cookies but yours look great! The sour cream I think makes them for me. Thanks for the recipe!

Desi said...

If you have someone who can handle pms mode, then you can probably conquer anything together.