Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Overheard In Our Household

Ann: Just saw a sign for a firearms shop, do you think we should have one?
Tony: Nah! I think I should have a grenade.
Ann: In case of a break-in?
Tony: Yeah, if some sub-Mensa breaks in, I'll hold up a grenade. They mess with me? I pull the pin and throw it at them. That'll show 'em.
Ann: Uh huh. So, how do you suppose our home insurance will feel about the damage?
Tony: Self defense!
Ann: An indoor grenade as self defense? And who is the sub-Mensa here?
__________

Tony: Did you take your medicine today?
Ann: Ooooh, that's a good "Overheard", aren't you clever!
Tony: So, now our conversations are just fodder for Overheards?
Ann: Well, now this one is really an Overheard about an Overheard.
Tony: Like I said, did you take your medicine today?
Ann: I'm not on any medicine.
Tony: Then Voltaire was wrong.
Ann: Oh please.
Tony: All things are NOT as they should be.
__________

[I believe this was his comment during a day when I was in a particular state of bouncing off the walls during Phoenix's 115-degree cabin-fever, perhaps]

Tony: You need to find something else to do with your time. Like a 1-person play for 3 years in another city.

[He's so obviously enamored with me, yes?]

24 comments:

Jennifer H said...

That's the first time I've heard anyone suggest a grenade as a defense in case of home invasion. You two would so be on the news.

I know that cabin fever. Through and through. Let's go to Mexico and get some cheap meds.

NV said...

"But officer, really, I did WARN him before I threw the grenade ..."

Yeah. That would help with the insurance company. :-)

John said...

RE: "...An indoor grenade as self defense?"

THEY'RE COMIN' RIGHT FOR US!*

— Jimbo, South Park

* - if you don't watch South Park, this makes no sense whatsoever, and instead my comment is, hope you're having a wonderful day! : )

Meagan said...

I really love your banters or 'overheards'. The grenade idea is quite genius, except for the whole mass destruction component.

Kelsey said...

We get the cabin fever here, except it's the 30 below zero kind. And I think my husband would like to stuff me in a closet for the whole winter because I go so crazy.

Kimberly said...

I'm jealous of your "overheards" :) I hear a lot of bitterness in my home (from me) and a lot of barking (from simon and hallie) and really that's about it.

I think I might need a Tony~

Anonymous said...

Okay, you forgot portions of that conversation (as usual). Please note that we peacefully negotiate the intruder to the kitchen and then throw the grenade..poof (okay more than a poof) no more intruder and beautiful new kitchen remodel job!

Submensa

Laura @ Hungry and Frozen said...

^^ Bwah!

:) y'all crack me up, for what it's worth.

Adam said...

Ha I've never heard the 'you gotta go find something to do' argument put so nicely. I guess if you make it funny enough, you can't get mad :) You guys live in a fun house... both fun and carnival like.

RazorFamilyFarms.com said...

Sub-Mensa lifeforms cannot comprehend the overwhelming need to own a grenade. This, from Josh.

You two are so funny! I would love to be a fly on the wall while some of this stuff is going on.

And a man who quotes Voltaire and is not gay -- how did you find that? You are truly a wonder, Mizz Ann.

And for household security -- get geese. They are far more explosive than a grenade. This did not come from Josh but he would certainly agree.

In friendship,
Lacy

Grace said...

sub-mensa will henceworth be a part of my daily vocabulary. i love it. i also love the fact that voltaire gets tossed around in your day-to-day conversations. :)

Real Live Lesbian said...

***light bulb clicks on***

I need a new kitchen, too!

Grand idea!

Jesse said...

And I have a wall I need taken out! Genius idea!

Ingrid said...

LOL! Hilarious! I so love reading your blog. You must post more often.....though I really need to NOT read your blog while at work. I keep getting strange looks from everyone. I thinks its the sudden bursts of crazy laughter especially as I'm supposed to be working.
~ingrid

Ingrid said...

LOL! Hilarious! I so love reading your blog. You must post more often.....though I really need to NOT read your blog while at work. I keep getting strange looks from everyone. I thinks its the sudden bursts of crazy laughter especially as I'm supposed to be working.
~ingrid

Ingrid said...

Oops, my bad! Got a little happy with the publish button!
~ingrid

morton said...

I was going to write a comment about your post, and how delightfully funny it was. But then I realized, "Hey, you're the 17th commenter!"

That means something, doesn't it?

No.

I thought it did. Are you sure?

Nope, it means nothing.

Well who created these rules? I thought 17 was pretty important and shit like that.

Not only is being the 17th commenter not at all important, but neither are you Morton. You are just an attention whore with genital warts.

Who told you about my warts? Fuck.

.....

Anyway, I'm agreeing with your grenade idea. I'm getting one myself, want me to pick one up for you?

the cheap chick said...

Next thing you know, he'll want a missile (sp?) launcher. And no, you can't have mine.

Anna Lefler said...

Grenade! LOL!!

Great blog!

:^) Anna

RazorFamilyFarms.com said...

So, about that dog tag...

Blessings,
Lacy

Matin said...

Funny:-)
X M

Clumbsy Cookie said...

You guys are soooooooo funny! Maybe Tony could have his own blog, no?

Gigi said...

I love the "over heard" posts! This one was primo! Thanks for the laughter and the smile Ann!

ALF said...

Yes. Get a gernade. That would be awesome.