Sunday, September 28, 2008

I Can't Deliver A Line

At the doctor's office this week, a conversation between me and the nurse:

Nurse: Do you smoke?

Me: No, but every year it's my New Year's Resolution to start smoking. Of course, I don't keep my resolutions.

Nurse: Smoking is terrible for your health, I'm sure you know that.

Me: Yeah, I was joking. Every year I say my New Year's Resolution is that I'm going to START smoking - but since every year I don't keep my resolutions, it's the perfect resolution. Get it? You can use it if you want!

Nurse: I hate smoking, so, I don't think I'd want to start.

Me: Um, yeah - that's kinda my point.

Nurse: [blank look] I'll bring you some anti-smoking literature before you leave.

You can all thank me now for never applying for a writing job for, oh, Friends or Seinfeld. I'm sure you can gather they were breaking down my door trying to access my brainage. You're welcome.

34 comments:

Clumbsy Cookie said...

Maybe you should really start smoking, so you can go back to her and stick a lite cigarrete on her ear. Maybe then she'll be able to ear better. Was that too violent?

Tanya said...

Actually, it was a pretty good joke. You just told it to the wrong person!

HEATHER said...

What a humorless wretch!
I got it and I'm a natural blonde!

MonkeyGirl said...

Some people have no sense of humor!

John said...

Bizarro World. ; )

Adam said...

Um, I kind of like my nurses with a side of humor :) Lighten up, buttercup.

NV said...

Morons in the medical profession? Say it ain't so!

flutter said...

Wow, that nurse was a bundle of personality, yeah?

Real Live Lesbian said...

I *love* your brainage! You're funny. You were just playing to the brain dead.

Grace said...

boy, i sure feel sorry for people with no sense of humor. what dull lives they must lead. i appreciate your joke. :)

Manager Mom said...

Remind me NOT to go through airport security with you. :-)

morton said...

I find it clever, and radical.

That nurse is a slut and a whore who doesn't have a good grasp on the english language.

YD's a little bit of everything place said...

Guess that nurse is a little dense or maybe she just doesn't have a sense of humor.

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

OH THE WASTED HUMOR!

See this is why I find you 32 flavors of pure GENIUS.

That nurse? Total asshat.

Kathryn said...

To me, this joke is reminiscent of Lorelei's humor on Gilmore Girls. I'm not sure how you may feel about that comment. But I loved that show and it's humor. Hopefully you don't mind the comparison.

RazorFamilyFarms.com said...

Wow. I love you even more for your resolution. Sounds just terrific! That nurse -- did she really send you packing with anti-smoking literature?!?! As a nurse, I want to apologize for my colleague's obvious lack of humor. We're not all so very one dimensional!

I posted that story start I'd alluded to in my Simple Living Gal Exposed post. I'd love your input on it. Really. LOVE. You get me and thus you would be perfect to figure out a title for the ding dang thing.

Blessings!
Lacy

Emily said...

I've just stumbled across your place via Flutter's.

You're a fantastic writer and I love your cookie pictures (!).

Good luck with the smoking...or not.

Cheers,
Emily.

Sugar said...

Wow... Nurse Ratchet needs a happy pill.

Next year, I'll start smoking with you. That way you can read that literature. Save it. January is just around the corner! haha...

Janelle said...

I went to the doctor once, and when they asked if I might be pregnant, I said "If I am, it's not mine!" The nurse didn't get that, either.

Jennifer H said...

I totally get it. And so would Jerry Seinfeld.

That nurse was a bore.

Laura @ Hungry and Frozen said...

Hahaha. Sounds like something out of Arrested Development. Thanks for the access to your brainage :)

Leslie said...

LOL//thats some funny stuff...Some people just DONT listen!

giz said...

That was sadly hysterical. Don't you love it when you think they're really not paying attention to what you're saying and then they go ahead and prove it.

the cheap chick said...

Your line was perfect. Unfortunately, the nurse was an idiot, which makes me question whether or not you should trust her for your health care. Seriously - switch clinics NOW. And that woman needs a shot of personality/humor STAT. Lordy, I have always wanted to say that.

Brittany said...

I thought it was funny, but I think this "nurse" may actually be an alien who does not comprehend earthling humor.

standing still said...

Trust me honey, it's not you. Apparently someone forgot to take her sense of humor medication.

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