Friday, August 8, 2008

Violating My Rights

First of all, can someone please tell me what happened to Monday through Thursday? They occurred? Because I'm not sure I was present for any of it. My migraine could tell you more, but screw it - it has monopolized enough of my week already.

So anyway, I get up this morning and schlep toward my loving espresso machine (oh, gawd how I love and adore THEE), make my magic elixir, and head toward the bathroom to kitten up. As I'm slathering lotion on my face - which IS my eternal routine, pre-shower - Tony proceeds to schlep behind me toward the shower....and SO, I start to angle MY way toward the shower....

Tony: What are you doing? Are you trying to SHOWER BLOCK me?
Ann: Dude, I was the FIRST one UP, I have shower rights!
Tony: You're shower blocking me - you're walking over here, eyes closed, rubbing crap on your face - trying to block me from getting in the shower!
Ann: I totally have shower rights, I was first up, I have my espresso right here - CLEARLY the shower is mine!
Tony: I just turned on the shower, too late for a shower block - it's mine.
Ann: Wow. You just totally violated the 1st Amendment of Shower Rights. I was first UP...

Okay....I was UP FIRST, did I or did I NOT have shower rights? I think I totally did. OH the conditions I must live under in this household. The CONDITIONS!

28 comments:

MonkeyGirl said...

Rules are rules - She who gets there first gets the shower first. You could have tossed the espresso at him as a diversion, but that is caffeine abuse!

dharmamama said...

Why didn't you just share?

p.s. You totally had the rights.

Alice said...

That shower should have been yours! I suggest locking the door next time. : )

flutter said...

*shakes fist*

Sugar said...

I'm thinking... since he supposedly doesn't like cherries... that you should get all Witches of Eastwick on his ass and start chanting stuff while spitting cherry pits into a bowl. Maybe after an afternoon of discomfort from the runs or some other vile thing, he will rething every pulling that violation again.

Or you'll just have a bowl of pits and continue waiting.

Sugar said...

I meant "rethink ever" ... got a little nutty on the keys, yo.

Laura @ Hungry and Frozen said...

Wow, I lost my Mon-Thurs as well. When I was a kid it was like "yay weekend" now it's like "holy crap! Friday again!"

So should have shared. Carbon footprint and all ;)

Leslie said...

Oh girl..I am with you on the migraine issues! My Relpax isnt cutting it anymore. There is some new med out there for "hormonal" Migraines..I might have to check it out! I hate having to be a slave to my migraines!
Oh and you TOTALLY had shower rights!

Ann said...

Monkeygirl: NEVER thought of a diversion, brilliant. I think it was too early for my brain.

Dharmamama: You are totally right, but I've always been a single showerer - never about the dual shower, lame huh? I thought I totally had rights too...

Alice: THANK YOU! So agree.

Flutter: I feel like I should burn a bra.

Sugar: OH I LIKE that - and I think you would be a perfect Witch to join in the witchery with me. Bwaaaahhhhh!

Laura: It was a blur! You're so right about the dual-shower, I'm just not on board - I want the water all to myself...

Leslie: I SO thought I had the rights too! I am feeling so righteous! :)

Meagan said...

You had the rights, you were up first and had a finished espresso. Please!

Sarah B. said...

Appalled at the conditions. You were clearly prepping to shower. I'd say he blocked you. Yep.

Jennifer H said...

You angled your head, for chrissake!

Clearly, the universal 1st Amendment of Shower Rights sign.

Clumbsy Cookie said...

Would that be a way of you turning off his hot water?...

Sugar said...

I'll start working on the potions and spells...

mwwwwaahhaahhaahhaa!!

Grace said...

i've been in a similar situation. i graciously let him have the shower...and then retaliated by flushing the toilet repeatedly. isn't my maturity astounding?

the (new) cheap chick said...

Ooooo, I LIKE the toilet flushing idea! Hopefully your Tony isn't like my Big Brother, who used to take hour long showers when we were kids. Usually right before I needed to get in there, too.

But the toilet-flushing only ever earned me a sound thwapping when he eventually got out. Sigh.

Razor Family Farms said...

No first up about it -- shower rights belong to women. It's basic survival. We have more complicated plumbing, must carry children and tend to them, scrub the toilets, etc. In return, we get the first rescue boats, doors opened for us, and dibs on the shower.

End of story.

Start taking away privileges next time. Something like; "So you liked those cherries? Want them again someday?"

standing still said...

Mother's advice to me when I got married: Two Bathrooms. I can't say that I argue with that at all. Now MechanicalMan has his own, but I'm sharing one with a 13-year old boy. Jeesh.

MamaGeek said...

Those conditions are AWFUL. May I suggest a vacation with two bathrooms? :)

NV said...

Yep. You were definitely queen of the shower and it was usurped from you. So, so wrong ...

diva said...

lol!!! sorry to hear abt your headache but geeez. firstly can't believe u let the DUDE beat the DUDETTE in war of the showers. second, you let him call your beauty lotion 'crap' oh the gall of tony.
tsk tsk. tht's a travesty. never ever verbally abuse beauty products.

tell you what, next time you block off the perimeter with yellow tape -- tht'll sort your rights out. ;) x

Real Live Lesbian said...

You wasted time with words. Next time, give him a wink, flash that Hollywood smile and hop in. Sucker.

Hope you're feeling better!

Sugar said...

Standing Still has great advice... but I'd progress it to two rooms. Can you imagine a girly room of your own? aaaahhhh... And I love Real Live Lesbian's Hollywood smile... funny.

So, totally off topic, but I'm kinda narcissistic today, so whatever. Scenes from a High School reunion are up:

http://www.living-intheory.com/2008/08/reunion-recap.html

ALF said...

You totally have shower rights in this situation. You should call your lawyer.

morton said...

I've never addressed shower rights, because I just assumed that married people don't have any (like myself). That being said, although you were first in the bathroom, and were intending on using the shower, you had neglected to turn on the shower, therefore the intent was not made clear.

I determine that he in fact had shower rights, and you were, in fact, shower blocking him.

a home far away said...

Sorry to hear about your migraine, the pain is not tolerable,I´ve heard from my best friend.

Regarding the shower, next tme just ignore him and walk in to te shower:_
Have a great day

//gunilla

Anonymous said...

Morton is a genius! I think the ladies should listen to him more often!

- President of the Anti-Shower Blocking Federation

just me... said...

Ok, I got a kick out of this post, I found your blog from Pioneer Woman, but now I have a question??? Maybe you're on to something and I need to know about it: why do you apply the moisturizer BEFORE the shower? Do tell? Am I living under a rock (altogether possible)