Back To My Previously Scheduled Life

I am officially back from vacation (I think one of my nerves just splayed open from typing that). As perfection would have it, I backed out of my driveway this morning to go about my business - except something felt all funny and flappy and weird. So I opened my car door and peered back at my rear tire - sure enough if that blowhole wasn't as flat as a boob-in-a-mammogram. Welcome home. I called Tony's office and asked that he be interrupted from his conference call so I could inquire whether it's possible to drive on the metal rim to the nearest gas station without totally ruining something or other; he says "Um, absolutely not", of course I have to ask 5 times if he's sure - indeed he is, dang him.

This is totally my own fault. I've had a rear tire problem for, oh...let's see, 3 months or so? If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you know my abhorrence for ALL things that involve an appointment of ANY kind. So, instead of making an appointment to just fix this stupid tire - I've been adding a bit of air about once a week when I get gas - because that's SO MUCH MORE convenient than getting it fixed, right? Yeeeeah. But see, I forgot to hire a tire sitter during my vacation - so here I am stuck with a flat tire because the poor thing sat unattended for ten days. I might as well have turned my stove-top burners on high and placed my houseplants on them while we were gone too, right? I know.

Considering the aftermath, maybe I'm not an easy person to travel with - but I do love to travel. Or rather, I love the destination - but I'm not the best at FLYING, per se. Do you know what I mean? Where sometimes your chemistry on the given day is just NOT set up for flying? There are flying-days when I want to crawl right out of my skin, out of my organs, right out of my wretched soul and blast out into orbit and into the arms of the global warming - rather than into the wings of that damn waiting plane of prison. I think for wonky folks like us, planes need anti-gravity rooms so the flight attendants can just throw us lunatics in there and we can literally bounce off the walls until we're at the gate, it'd be perfect.

At the same time, I think the lack of oxygen can add to the mentaltainment - adding to the loopiness and chattiness and silly monotony...

Us, Overheard On The Airplane:

T: I think you've reached the plane's allowed word limit.
A: OH! Ohmahgad, think I'm goin' to guffaw here.
T: I think you should nap.
A: I've been trying to.
T: Try harder.
A: I've had my head on your shoulder for 40 minutes, eyes closed! I can't sleep.
T: You so need to nap before me and our neighbors permanently gang-nap you.
A: Oh. OH.
_____

A: I am so bored, I am out of my skull-mind-brain bored.
A: I hate flying, I'm not a good flyer. I feel crowded inside and out. I need space. I want to sprawl.
A: I'm done with the magazines, don't want to read, this crossword makes me mad. Sudoku can suck it!
A: I'm going to run down the aisle and scream FIRE!
T: [stares blankly]
A: I'm gonna go crazy, I really can't stand flying one more minute.
T: Okay, but you want to travel everywhere in the world?
A: Well yeah. But on my OWN plane.
T: Your own plane?
A: Well, duh! Why do you think I'm putting in my 3-days-a-week at work?
T: [calls flight attendant for new seat]

I just don't do well all packed in tight and taut. On top of that, you have the poor screaming babies and their even more miserable parents and the nearby travelers who look at them accusingly as if they programmed the child to scream during these chosen moments. Tony is always reading calmly and I'm always "Are you reading? Is the book good? Is it really good? What do you want to talk about? Are you thirsty, because I'm thirsty? I think someone is FARTING continuously!" - I mean, it really is an excess of humanity in one place - a recipe for excess irritability and clock watching and someone continuously farting nearby.

I think I have a solution. You see, we take our dogs with us in the cabin and they get a little tranquilizer to help them through the flight. Well, HELLO humans - why are the canines the only species benefiting from this extremely smart coping mechanism? Listen, the airlines are looking for things to charge us for, why not DRUGS that make us better passengers? Let's get this option on the beverage cart! I know, right? Can you see it?

Flight attendant: "A Diet Coke? You betcha. What would you like with that? Quaalude? Valium? Ambien? Xanax? Yes, I'll hold the ice. A pillow? Down or tempurpedic?"

Sleepy, calm passengers who are paying more money to the airlines? Oh, win-win. Sign me up. Until I get that private jet through working 3-days-a-week, I'd be all for this proposed program. Diet Coke, Valium, hold the ice, down pillow - THANKS. [and a nose plug? should we add that too?]

So, since I was stranded at home today with my post-vacation musings and my flat tire - I decided to make us a little treat for tonight. I suppose it's a little last hurrah toward our vacation...




















Chocolate Mousse

I must admit, I had major preconceptions about mousse. I just always felt it was chocolate pudding in high heels. Nothing special, nothing to get the least bit excited about, certainly nothing to blow your hair back. Wow, was I WRONG. Chocolate Mousse, my apologies for the pre-judgment. This isn't a classic mousse as it doesn't contain eggs, which may thus make it more amenable for children for those of you who don't like to use raw eggs. It's super chocolaty and rich and incredible - and FAR, far beyond what we were expecting in terms of deliciousness. Super easy to make, elegant, and decadent. LOVED IT. This dessert is totally worthy of heels - you could serve this baby in heels. And nothing else, for that matter.

2 c. heavy whipping cream
8 oz. semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 tsp. vanilla
pinch of salt

Bring 1/2 c. of the cream just to a boil in a medium saucepan over medium heat, then remove pan from heat. Add chocolate and whisk until smooth. Whisk in vanilla and salt; transfer to medium bowl and allow to cool to room temperature.

Whip the remaining cream with an electric mixer on medium-high speed until the beaters begin to leave trails in the cream. Add the chocolate in 3 separate batches, beating on low speed just until well blended; the mixture might look curdled after adding the first batch, but it will become creamy.

Transfer mixture to one large serving bowl or 4 stemmed glasses. Refrigerate and cover for at least 30 minutes and up to 2 days. Serve with crumbled meringue, whipped cream, or grated dark chocolate. ENJOY!