Overheard In Our Household

T: I'll turn off the lights up here.
A: My god, it's a miracle.
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A (loudly, to dog): Wylie, don't look at me like that about your father!
[Me, always trying to hint that I'm favored by the dogs. So dumb.]
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T: Goodnight, honey.
A: What's that supposed to mean?
[It really just meant that I HAD to stop my incessant insomniac drone]
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T: You wanna go along on this trip with me?
A: At the last minute? What about the dogs?
T: We can figure it out.
A: You mean I can figure it out, make 8 zillion calls and totally stress about it, last minute?
T: Yeah, that. But...
A: No, I'll stay here and stress instead.
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During a recent total shut-in weekend:
A: Wanna go get Chipotle?
T: We'd have to leave the house?
A: Yeah.
T: Oh. Hmmm. Then, no.
A: Yeah, seems like too much, doesn't it?
[Wow, huh? Think we stayed in our pajamas the entire weekend, livin' LARGE.]
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A: Let's move to Amsterdam.
T: What would we do for a living?
A: Smoke pot, of course! [right, we barely drink]
T: Oh, okay - and how would we pay for that?
A: We could charge people to look at our dogs.
T: Why would people pay for that?
A: Because they're THAT cute, duh!
T: [Exhales, shakes head, walks away...]
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A: Do you think I'm generally overall weird?
T: Yes.
A: Do you think other people think I'm weird?
T: Well, yeah, but it's a good weird.
A: A good weird? Well what does that mean, exactly?
T: Just a good weird, like an eclectic weird.
A: Hmmm. Well, then - what would a bad weird be?
T:
A: Uh huh.
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Any good "Overheards" in your household lately?